Roles of Family and School sample essay

Family and school are those first institutions that teach us the basics of life. While schools are mainly oriented on general literacy and knowledge (such as literature, composition, sciences, etc.), family contributions are different, and are more focused on moral and ethical aspects of children’s behavior. However, schools too may provide certain learning programs aimed at developing students’ morality and ethics, and vice versa, in some cases parents teach children different doctrines and concepts (which are typically directly associated with what a particular parent does). However, the roles parents play in today’s families have shifter immensely. A traditional family is something that is facing a real threat as such phenomena as same-sex parents and multiple-parent families gain popularity. Many American schools, in turn, do not provide sufficient skills to cope with social challenges of today’s stressful world, and thus have to change to meet the ulterior needs of children.

A family is defined as “a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children” (Webster). However, there are many interpretations of family, family roles, commitments of family members, and family models. Several untraditional family types are conjugal family (with one of more mothers, children, and one or more spouses, not necessarily men), consanguineal (a mother, children and mother’s relatives), matrifocal (mother and children), and patrifocal (father and children). But despite the types, definitions, and interpretations, the most important concept of a family lies in raising children. Without considering orphans, lone parenting, drinking parents, and other malicious cases, generally the roles of parents consist in providing everything necessary for the child, taking care of him or her (or them), and contributing to the future and present well-being and good health of the child(ren) to the best of their abilities. The concepts of “well being” and “everything necessary” differ among cultures, states, economies, and even separate households, though. In a classic example of a family, parents would try to foster positive and noble traits of character (i.e. integrity, honor, kindness, love), rather than negative ones (i.e. hatred, greed, avidity, mendaciousness). The roles of mother and father in raising a child are usually split, and by definition do not intersect but for rare exceptions. It would be incorrect to even address an issue of whose role is more important, father’s or mother’s, - both play a crucial role in the process of raising children, forming a united concept of parenting. In other words, notion of parenting consists of fatherhood and motherhood, - two interrelated concepts. Barring the great variety of secondary roles (such as everyday care, love, link to other relatives, and economic support) both fathers and mothers play in parenting, they have unique individual roles that both contribute to the future behavior of children and their ability to become a valuable and decent member of society.

Fathers’ role in teaching children about society and other important concepts is fulfilled through such activities as solving problems, playing games, guidance, providing resources, and actually preparing a child for future adult life. By solving problems and helping the child fathers become a role model of this noble and kind helper, saver, or even hero. Fathers are great playmates; by spending time with children involving in physical activity fathers cut the barriers of generation gap, and instill the necessity of physical exercises, which is also an element of culture and nobility. An important role of fathers is disciplining children, telling them directly what they should and should not do. They may either reward correct actions, or punish wrong deeds. This way, children would understand such notions as authority, rules, and discipline, which are important for the future social interaction. However, being too harsh with children well pays off in future reserved disposition and even aggressiveness. Another classic role of a father that contributes to the social life and morality of children (in this case especially boys), is the ability to accumulate economic resources, or in simple terms, take care of the family’s financial stability. Unless there are valid reasons for such behavior, fathers that pass off this role to women distort balance in the family, and make a skewed impression regarding who must bring money inside the family. The last role to be discussed is also very important. Discussing government, politics, gender relationship, and sex with children prepares them for adult life and society.

Mothers’ roles naturally differ from father’s roles first because of the difference in gender and everything that follows. Mothers are more sensitive, and they help children develop their tenderness, compassion, and the like feelings. Although mother roles differ from state to state, culture to culture, and household to household, the classic example of mother in a family is one fostering sensuality and morality, often teaching children different household techniques, actively participating in education process, and supporting children in times of emotional difficulties. Often mothers become this person, on whose shoulder children tend to cry. While fathers usually develop honor and other noble traits, they all are most of the time extrinsic and practical, so that children could derive practical material use from these traits when they become adults. Mothers, on the other hand, foster inner qualities, ones that children would use in relationship with others, especially in small communities and personal relationships.

All these parental roles mentioned above are classic, ideal roles that mothers and fathers are expected to fulfil. In reality, however, these roles are distorted very much. Traditional families in the U.S. experience a change, not to mention same-sex parenting, and three-parent families. Because we live in a time of information and technology, and most parents devote very much time to work, seeking genuine capitalist goals, they sacrifice communication with children. Unfortunately, modern parents do not devote time to preparing children to social life, and do not provide them with necessary information before they go to school. Not only parents deprive themselves of communication with their offspring, but they also put educational successes of children at risk, because they may lack knowledge of how to behave in society, how to study properly, and most importantly what is the use of going to school in the first place. As family model shifts with time, parents forget about their classic roles; they forget that they are the first teachers of children. Children that do not receive necessary attention from their parents are more likely to perform worse in school and consecutive educational establishments, or lack the ability to communicate successfully with other students. Therefore, it is crucial that nowadays’ parents understand the importance of their contribution to children’s educational process, and by education I do not mean math and literature, but the qualities necessary to cope with social problems in stressful and harsh environment of today’s world.

A common mistake that both parents and schools make is letting children “feel-good.” In other words, with a guarantee of entering the college, which is very commonly spread nowadays in many regions of the country, students relax and do not study at all. This is of course parents’ mistake in the first place, but schools are responsible for the children as well. The mistakes of professors and administrators is that they simply watch those illiterate students pretend to be cool, and waste precious time on pointless activities. However, an ideal would try to talk to parents about the child’s behavior, and explain that money cannot buy him or her brains and knowledge. And it is the very knowledge that young adults need to build up their career, and become decent members of society.

Forming a child’s worldview is the task of parents, and they should discipline their children appropriately so that they can behave well in school, and later on. In addition to standard lessons of morality and behavior though, ideal parents should devote time to talking about politics. This is important for children (although they may not understand why) because they must know where and how they live, what systems surround them, and what their right are. Concepts of government and politics are easier to understand in teenage, but by this time there would be no need to discuss politics with the child because he or she would know enough. In younger ages, if a child understands the basic concepts of politics, citizenship, and freedom, these might - and probably will – influence his or her adolescent and adult years in a positive way. One simple, but effective way to familiarize a child with such notion as government and taxes is to present it in some simple and interesting form. For example, parents might offer a child $10 for washing the dishes. When the job is completed, and child asks for the money, they can give him or her only $6 and explain that part of the $10 is income tax, or in simpler terms the cost of the opportunity to make money. Another example might be to make up several rules for the child without disclosing the motifs. Then after a while a parent would accuse the child of violating the rule, which in fact had not been given to him or her. This will of course confuse the child, but such simple games would teach him or her basic concepts of democracy. Another useful, but uninteresting game parents might turn to demonstrates the power or government. Take any set of objects that appear in hierarchical order - playing cards is best if the child can interpret the kinds – and play “bigger beats the smaller” game, having divided the entire set in two parts for both of you. Then change the rules of the game, and name it Government. The one who plays government can beat any kind of card by his (her) card regardless of whose card is “bigger.” This way, the government player would always win. Such simple but very effective lessons would prepare a child for life in democratic society, and teach the basic concepts of politics.

School and family are those two institutions that familiarize us with the basic concepts of society, government, social life, freedom, and other important concepts. Family is the first source of information for every child (excluding orphans), and that is why parents must pay extra attention to how they teach children (if they do at all) and how much time they devote to teaching children. Parents are the first and the primary teachers, however this role modern parents tend to pass to school teachers, without realizing the seriousness of consequences. Today parents should attempt to reproduce the classic family in every household, and teach their children concepts of government, politics, citizenship, taxes, and other concepts that would help the child in his or her future business career. And even though parents may bee very busy, they should always remember that they are (or at least should be) the role models and first teachers that guide children through their childhood and adolescence. Hence future of children depends primarily on the parents.
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